Selective Silence as a Management Tool
Bob Artner of TechRepublic defines selective silence as a deliberate policy of occasionally being quiet, and allowing the other person to talk, in fact, forcing that person to talk. When used strategically, silence can have more impact than raising your voice.
A boss of mine had this uncanny ability to inspire me to say more than I intended. When I asked him about it, I learned that it’s a tactic often employed by salespeople, sometimes referred to as selective silence.
Bob Artner of TechRepublic defines selective silence as “a deliberate policy of occasionally being quiet, and allowing the other person to talk—in fact, forcing that person to talk.”
When used strategically, silence can have more impact than raising your voice, being confrontational, or even asking direct questions.
Silence makes people uncomfortable. And rather than be uncomfortable, people will talk in an effort to fill gaps in the conversation—often volunteering more information than if they had been asked a direct question.
For example, you have an employee who is behind schedule on an important project and you need to get him back on track. You could express your dissatisfaction to him or demand an explanation. Or you could go up to him, look him in the eye and say, “You’re falling behind on this project.” And then be silent.
In this situation, it’s likely your employee will be less defensive than if you admonished him and will volunteer more information than he would have otherwise.
When using the selective silent technique, there are three main things to remember:
1. You have to be silent: If they’re uncomfortable, you’re uncomfortable. You’ll have to practice not being the first to speak.
2. Maintain eye contact: If you’re being silent and not maintaining eye contact, you’re letting your employee off the hook.
3. Use sparingly: The technique can lose its effectiveness if overused.