Leading people can be both the most rewarding and the most challenging part of managing a lab. Labs run on data, but people run on emotion, and sometimes those reactions can derail even the most carefully designed experiment. Leadership means navigating those dynamics with awareness and intention, which makes it as complex as any technical problem you’ll face. Release the self-judgement about who you ”should” be as a leader. It’s reasonable to acknowledge that leadership can be hard at times and drain your energy reserves. Some team members seem committed to making it harder. Maybe your lab has that one person—the defiant one, the talk-over-everyone one, or the quiet saboteur. The challenge isn’t their existence. In fact, some are very productive. It’s how you lead them without losing your composure that matters.
When you are optimizing your lab operations, you likely consider the value and importance of accuracy and establishing controls. Leadership requires an additional skill. People are unpredictable, and most don’t love to give up autonomy. Emotional volatility shows up even more in high-stakes, high-intelligence environments—thoughts and comments like, “I know they knew I was working on that and they took credit for my idea!” or “It’s ridiculous that I need to go through all this red tape! It’s obvious that I need this! Why can’t they trust my expertise?” Strong leaders investigate whether they are judging the person when it could be valuable information.
Understanding the root of difficult behavior
Take a moment, and someone probably comes to mind. We all have that “difficult” person we’ve had to work with. But what does that really mean? What makes someone difficult within a team?
The difficulties often come from overused strengths, unmet needs, or a mismatch of values. This may look like the ambitious, hardworking person you value is showing ego and dismissing others. The person looking for resources or recognition starts to show obstinacy and a snarky attitude. There is also the team member who isn’t aligned with the team's direction and is either passive or resistant to doing the required work.
Turning the tide from difficult to amicable requires encouraging the positive behavior that pulls them back into a productive team dynamic. This strategy requires you to start with understanding versus control.
What to learn before you confront issues
Many leaders believe they are supposed to have some degree of control. They must direct and evaluate employees and curb unruly behavior. Some of that is true, which is why control seems to be the right answer. Control feels efficient while understanding feels slow. But only one of these approaches builds trust and true behavioral change.
The strongest leaders avoid the use of control. Seeking understanding is another form of data collection; it’s simply a different kind of experiment. You already know that reliable data depends on good methodology. The same applies here. You can’t draw accurate conclusions about behavior if you’re collecting emotional noise.
Parts of these people dynamic-based experiments are just like any other—collect the data, analyze it, and generate a possible conclusion. The difference is the less controlled environment and the compliance of your data source.
Consider this in practice based on some “difficult person” profiles and what to learn about them:
Introducing Dua Pearl, the dominant personality. Your view of Dua is that they really like everyone to know just how smart they are by pushing their ideas and talking over others when faced with any resistance. The team starts to go silent in meetings because Dua doesn’t allow any air in the room for fresh ideas or feedback. It’s the Dua Show, and resistance feels futile.
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Remember, the goal for disrupting this cycle isn’t a muted version of Dua. There’s still a strong value to their knowledge and experience; it’s just clouded by this behavior. Before addressing it, take time to gather insight into Dua’s:
- Degree of self-awareness,
- Impact on you, the team, and the team goals
- Internal need for recognition and visibility
The value of these insights is subject to how many assumptions are made. Recognize that what you see is subject to verification. The analysis can be influenced by bias, frustration, and external pressure from others.
Next is Pavel Agger, the passive aggressor. Your view of Pavel is that they do the bare minimum and “forget” meetings, deadlines, and specific asks. Use of language often feels like a hidden insult in things like “I don’t disagree” or “I didn’t know you would succeed in that.” When confronted, they assure you they were just kidding, and they will get right on it. Except they don’t. The team—and you—no longer trust that Pavel’s work will be completed correctly and on time.
Your goal in changing Pavel’s behavior is to rebuild trust and benefit from timely, thoughtful work product. Once again, it’s tempting to assume there’s a threat of sabotage when it may only be quiet resistance. But why? That’s the question! Here’s what you want to learn about Pavel:
- Degree that their social and emotional needs are being met
- The available language they have for articulating emotions or feelings
- Behavior is situational with you or universal with everyone
The value of these insights is in predicting the scale and scope of the required change. You learn whether this is a skill-building opportunity (e.g., emotional intelligence) or a change in your leadership approach with Pavel.
Finally, we meet Casey Cloud, the chronic complainer. Your view of Casey is that nothing is ever good or right enough for them. In some way, they embrace being the victim in every circumstance. The team energy sinks whenever they are present, and the eyes roll collectively with every negative comment.
Your goal in changing Casey’s behavior is to shift the language, not change the personality. If the complaints were structured as feedback, they may strengthen team outcomes. It’s not necessarily what they are saying that is difficult; it’s how they say it. What you want to learn about Casey is the:
- Message beneath the complaint—the facts
- Sense of agency and autonomy in their work
- The reward they receive from venting
The value of these insights is clarifying potential causes for the negativity. It may be a core personality trait, but not necessarily. Exploring the driver of the complaints provides a target for your leadership efforts.
Data-driven leadership strategies for managing difficult people
What is a leader to do? Each profile requires a different leadership stance, but the pattern is the same: observe, understand, and engage before you react.
Your first mission is to stay grounded and focused on the experiment at hand. Determine what parts of you are the best tools for engaging—whether it’s Dua, Pavel, Casey, or another problematic profile. Leverage a variety of leadership skills to help you connect with the most troublesome employee. It’s a choice to be firm or compassionate, direct or indirect, and performance- or development-focused.
Whether firm or compassionate, using “I” statements de-escalates tension and reduces the likelihood of defensiveness. Examples include:
“I felt unheard when I was interrupted in the meeting today.”
“I am unable to share results with the team when your reports aren’t completed.”
These statements are often followed by open-ended questions. These questions are intended to gather information and not steer the conversation. As you approach the employee, recognize that these behavioral clues are data, not just drama. When you leverage your curiosity more than control, it will disarm the employee’s defensiveness. You can ask:
“What are you looking for, given the complaints you made?”, or
“What have I not heard about your challenges in getting this work completed as discussed?”
Actively listening to their responses helps you understand what drives their behavior—and that act alone is a form of leadership courage. It takes courage to hand them the driver’s seat and ask what they need from you. Listen fully to what they want, even knowing that the choice to act on it remains yours.
The lab may run on data, but leadership runs on humanity. When you lead people with both empathy and purpose, you elevate the team and yourself. You can choose to lead them in a way that prompts their edges to soften. That’s the quiet power of an emotionally intelligent leader.
