Improved Leadership Through Developing Gracious Assertiveness

For many scientists, the transition from the technical bench to lab leadership is challenging and full of obstacles. Improving communication is often a key to developing effective leadership skills. Dr, Yasmin Davidds is an entrepreneur, psychologist, professor, speaker, and author. In her new book, Graciously Assertive: How Becoming a Better Human Makes You a Better Leader, she explores how to be both gracious and bold. She offers insight into how a life of authenticity, meaningful connections, and positive impact enable leaders to succeed.

Q: What is an effective working definition of assertiveness?

A: Assertiveness is the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly. The message is communicated clearly and directly without aggression or passivity. Gracious assertiveness is the ability to confidently and respectfully express one's thoughts, feelings, and needs while demonstrating empathy, kindness, and consideration for others. It involves maintaining a balance between standing up for oneself and valuing the perspectives and emotions of others, thereby fostering positive and constructive interactions.

Q: What are the key benefits of being graciously assertive as a leader?

A: Some of the benefits of a graciously assertive leader are:

• Communication and Team Dynamics: Leaders who are graciously assertive communicate directly and clearly, yet with a respectful tone that reduces miscommunication. This style of communication creates trust and respect on which a solid team is based, making the individuals feel like they are being heard, valued, and respected.

• Establishment of a Positive Work Environment: Leaders who blend assertiveness with kindness and empathy create a friendly atmosphere in the workplace. In this type of atmosphere everyone can feel welcome; staff feel they have someone to look up to, and that there is someone with whom they can share their thoughts and feelings.

• Healthier Relationships: Leaders who are both gracious and assertive forge deeper, more positive relationships with their team, peers, and stakeholders. They demonstrate a balance between confidence and consideration for others' feelings and perspectives; this approach yields respect.

• Conflict Resolution: By perpetuating a helpful attitude, these leaders are excellent at resolving conflicts in a way that is peaceful and fair to everyone involved. They prevent resentment from lingering and are perceived as helpful.

Q: What is the relationship between authenticity and gracious assertiveness?

A: Authenticity and gracious assertiveness are closely connected. Both require honest and respectful communication. Being authentic means speaking your mind and being true to yourself, expressing your feelings, views, and values. Authenticity weaves well with gracious assertiveness, which compels leaders to express their truth and their needs in a kind and respectful manner.

These leaders are open, honest, and transparent with their team. This honesty allows an authentic leader to also build trust. Gracious assertiveness makes certain that even if the key message is challenging or critical, it will always be communicated in a way that preserves trust and respect. The continuity of behavior ensures that leaders are continuously graciously assertive in every circumstance, contributing to an atmosphere of dependability, accountability, and trust.

Q: What is the ideal balance between too little and too much assertiveness?

A: The ideal balance between too little and too much assertiveness lies in being able to express oneself clearly and confidently while maintaining respect and consideration for others. This balance ensures that communication is effective, relationships are positive, and conflicts are handled constructively. Assertiveness involves stating your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly, but done in a way that is considerate of others' perspectives. Avoiding vague or passive communication helps ensure that your message is understood.

Balancing assertiveness means expressing your own needs and opinions while also showing respect and empathy for others. Listening actively and acknowledging others' viewpoints fosters mutual respect and understanding. True assertiveness is confident and self-assured without being aggressive or domineering. It's important to stand up for your rights and opinions without infringing on the rights of others. Part of being assertive is setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, which includes knowing when to say no and ensuring your boundaries are respected while also being respectful of others' boundaries.

Q: Where is the boundary between assertive and aggressive?

A: There is a fine line that separates assertive and aggressive behaviors. Assertiveness maintains a level of respect for others when you are communicating or interacting. Assertiveness is about expressing your needs, opinions, and rights without violating anyone else's needs or opinions. It also strikes a balance between self-confidence and empathy. On the other hand, when we act aggressively, we are expressing ourselves with little or no respect for others' basic wants and opinions (and rights). In other words, aggressive behaviour involves dominating others in a controlling way that infers to them that they don't matter very much at all.

Q: How does developing effective gracious assertiveness help someone bring their best self to work?

A: These behaviors help foster an environment where they can express their true thoughts, feelings, and needs while maintaining positive and respectful interactions with colleagues. This combination enhances personal and professional well-being, leading to greater job satisfaction, productivity, and overall success.

Q: What are some examples of the benefits of using gracious assertiveness to build a more positive work environment?

A: A positive workplace provides many benefits to staff and leadership. Here are some examples:

• Improved Self-Confidence: Gracious assertiveness is about asserting your true thoughts and needs respectfully. It raises self-esteem and confidence which also breeds independence and the willingness to accept new challenges at work.

• Better Communication: Being graciously assertive allows one to communicate directly and truthfully while acknowledging and holding space for other people`s opinions. This makes meetings more effective, with fewer misunderstandings, cultivating a climate of collaboration.

• Enhanced Relationships: Leaders practicing gracious assertiveness build more trust and respect amongst co-workers.

• Conflict Resolution: Everyone will be able to solve disagreements by using empathy brainstorming strategies that find “both/and solutions” (not “either/or”) for shared beneficial agreements, resulting in less stress at work.

• Balanced Emotional Expression: Gracious assertiveness promotes smooth and emotionally balanced communication, which will keep team members in a balanced emotional state and prevent employee burnout.

• Feedback and Growth: To be graciously assertive means giving feedback constructively and graciously. It can also help establish a continuous improvement culture, making it safe for individuals to learn from experience and grow in their roles.

• Higher Job Satisfaction: When employees are allowed to be their authentic selves, and they feel listened to, and respected at work, it results in higher job satisfaction. This positivity impacts their overall productivity and engagement with the company.

Q: How can existing leaders approach the journey to becoming more graciously assertive while in the role?

A: Existing leaders can approach this journey by adopting a mindful and deliberate strategy that emphasizes self-awareness, continuous learning, and practical application. Gathering feedback from colleagues, team members, and mentors can provide valuable insights into how their communication style is perceived and where improvements can be made. Reflecting on past interactions, particularly those involving conflict or negotiation, can help leaders understand their natural tendencies and areas for growth.